Waxing Moon Page 9

  Before he revealed what was in the basket, the baby inside whimpered like a puppy. Nani raised her eyebrows in surprise, although this wasn’t the first time that he had brought in a baby from the front gate, abandoned by some wretched soul on a day of celebration or a dead one from the field ditched by an unfortunate woman out of wedlock. Now that Nani’s mother had passed away, and also Mistress Kim, there was no chance that this baby would get to stay in the house. Mistress Yee would throw a tantrum when she found out that the baby was there, and everyone in the household would be walking on eggshells for days. Nani wasn’t afraid of that. She was used to Mistress Yee. But it wasn’t always trouble-free to relocate the baby. Min must have felt extra sorry for these abandoned babies because he had once been a baby in a basket. Nani remember her mother talking with other maids about Min almost a decade before, summarizing in whisper the reasons why people abandoned their own children. “Scarcity of food after drought and birth out of wedlock are the common causes of such a terrible act. But sometimes, well, rarely, the master of the house planted his seed somewhere illegitimate. And doesn’t one have to reap what’d been sewn one way or another?”

  Min stood there like a totem pole. Without saying anything Nani sliced off the top parts of apples and pears, as was the custom when preparing offerings for the memorial service.

  “What are we going to do about this?” Soonyi asked, but her concern was superficial.

  Nani stripped the smoked beef as if she heard nothing. The baby moaned pitifully, with the last bit of energy left in its system. Min looked grim but still stood there, planted. Nani arranged chestnuts on a plate. They were raw. She couldn’t remember whether chestnuts were supposed to be cooked or arranged raw on the table for the memorial service, and she was sure that Mistress Yee had no clue either. Her remarkable ignorance about housekeeping was advantageous to her inferiors, except that when Nani wanted to know something there was no one to learn from.

  She wiped her hands on her apron, thinking intently about what to feed the infant if she should end up having to do so. Unexpectedly, Min picked up the basket and left the kitchen. Soonyi stood up and opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t, she just looked at Nani sheepishly. After a few moments, Nani ran after Min. Near the well she pulled his arm and said, “Where’re you going?”

  Min yanked his arm back and walked on. Nani grabbed his arm again and asked, “What are you trying to do?”

  Min stared at her briefly and walked away again. Nani remained behind and muttered, “What’s he going to do with the baby? Is he going to starve it to death?” She realized that she had hurt his feelings. She walked slowly back to the kitchen.

  “What on earth do you think you’re doing?” Nani shouted hysterically when she saw Soonyi take a bite of mugwort-flavored rice cake. “That’s for the memorial service. You know very well you can’t taste food before the service!” Her voice turned metallic. “Get out. You are no help. Go get Mirae. What’s she up to? Wake her up!”

  Soonyi sprang up and left the kitchen, pouting and stomping. She climbed up onto the raised entrance and walked gingerly toward the bedroom. Holding the ancient door-pull, she took a deep breath before she entered. She was afraid of Mirae. Her appearance scared her. She dreaded confronting her because she didn’t know what to expect each time. “Don’t drop your jaw and stare at her. And don’t scream,” Nani had advised her. When Mistress Yee first saw her own maid after she returned from her extended stay away, she did exactly that: she dropped her jaw and couldn’t speak for a long moment, and then she heaved a sigh as if she were in great pain and finally said, “Get that out of my sight!” It was typical of Mistress Yee, but it was cruel nonetheless. No one called her bosom buddy, nevertheless everyone felt sorry for her when her own mistress called her “that” just because her skin was now disfigured. It was unjust, unfair, heartless, everyone had grumbled quietly, frowning.

  “Are you up?” Soonyi asked feebly, knowing very well that there would be no reply either way.

  Mirae’s upper body was in the sunlight coming through the window, and her eyelashes fluttered as Soonyi spoke. Soonyi didn’t know that Mirae had gone to bed not long before. Nowadays she disappeared in the middle of the night and slipped in quietly before dawn. And she slept like a log until after breakfast. People got used to what they thought of as temporary madness. They were expecting her to get better sooner or later. In the meantime, Nani had to take over her job as well.

  “Are you still sleeping?” Soonyi made another attempt, weakly. “Nani wants you.”

  Mirae opened her eyes ever so slightly and then closed them again. Soonyi slid toward Mirae on her knees. Mirae’s face, unlike when she was fully awake, appeared to be peaceful, expressionless, and undisturbed. Her skin didn’t look too bad. Soonyi inspected her face indiscreetly, holding her breath, puckering her mouth, and narrowing her eyes.

  “So what do you think?” Mirae asked, opening her eyes, looking up directly at Soonyi. Her tone was neutral.

  Surprised, Soonyi pulled herself back and turned red. Mirae didn’t scream, nor did she look upset.

  “I have two eyes, one nose, and one mouth, just like anyone else,” Mirae said calmly.

  Soonyi felt mortified. Not knowing how to respond, she kept her mouth zipped.

  “What does Nani want?” Mirae asked, cocking her head.

  “She wants you to help out, I guess,” she said, her voice weakening at the end. She couldn’t remember exactly what kind of help Nani wanted of Mirae.

  Mirae flung her covers aside, went to clean her teeth with sea salt, and then marched to the kitchen. Soonyi followed her. She felt tense, interested in what Mirae was up to. She hadn’t been in her right mind, let alone cooperative or working, since she had recovered from her illness.

  In the kitchen, there was nothing much more to be done. Nani was cleaning up and getting ready to deliver the wooden vessels for the memorial service. When she saw Mirae, however, she stopped her hands and waited for Mirae to say something. But Mirae said nothing. She simply picked up one of the trays and walked toward the master’s quarters.

  “What is she up to?” Nani said in an undertone, standing with her arms akimbo, just as her mother would have done. “Don’t just stand there. You carry a tray too,” Nani reproached Soonyi.

  “What are you so mad at me about?” Soonyi sulked, furrowing her forehead.

  “I’ll be right back,” Nani said and left the kitchen. She walked briskly to the storage room, hoping to find Min with the baby in the basket. She felt bad that she had dismissed him earlier. So compassionate and softhearted, he couldn’t ignore the abandoned baby. But Nani was so busy with no extra hands to help her. The kitchen maid hadn’t yet returned from her mother’s. All she heard from her was that her mother would be dying any minute now. In any case, she was glad that Mirae had finally collected herself and gotten up. Hopefully, she would go back and tend to Mistress Yee.

  Pausing in front of the storage room, Nani looked about before she opened the door. Min couldn’t be in there, for she was the only one among the maids and the servants entrusted with the key. Her mother had given her the keys to various places before she died, and Mistress Kim had entrusted her with them. Still, she went in. The smell of the fabric and the paper and the wooden boxes made her sneeze. She looked up and down. There were bolts of silks and cottons stacked up. She took down one particular roll of silk and touched it aimlessly, thinking about something totally unrelated. Mrs. Wang’s house was what stirred her mind. She would have liked to have a house—a cottage with a thatched roof—and her own animals, and her own little patch of vegetable garden, away from everyone, maybe with Min. “Crazy,” she said aloud, thinking of Min and how he had run away from her with the baby earlier. “Crazy,” she said once more.

  “Crazy is right!” thundered a voice.

  Stupefied, Nani dropped
the bolt of silk, which fell on the ground and rolled, unfolding itself until it reached the shoe of Mistress Yee who seemed to have been transported into the storage room magically. Nani wanted to pick up the silk, but her body was unwilling to move as quickly as she would like. When she finally bent down, Mistress Yee barked, “Get your filthy hands off my silk!”

  Nani flinched, her lips quivering. She didn’t know where to fix her glance. She was supposed to be in the kitchen. What would Mistress Yee do now? Her stomach knotted.

  “I didn’t know I was breeding a thief under my own roof. How did you get hold of those keys?” Mistress Yee asked, narrowing her eyes. She walked on the bed of silk toward Nani, whose eyes were brimming with tears. She wanted to say that she wasn’t a thief. But she felt so small, powerless, overwhelmed. The storage room seemed to have darkened. It was hard to see what expression was on Mistress Yee’s face. She could only hear Mistress Yee’s heavy breathing and the rustle of her dress as she approached.

  Many months pregnant, Mistress Yee ballooned in the middle. So when she stepped on Nani’s foot, Nani thought that it was an accident. Except she didn’t remove her foot. Mistress Yee pressed until Nani cried.

  “Where did you get the keys?” Mistress Yee pressed harder on Nani’s foot. Her crimson lips parted, fuming fiery air, right above Nani’s nose.

  “Mistress Yee, I didn’t take them. They were given to me. Mistress Kim gave them to me. She used to send me here to fetch papers and brushes and other things,” Nani quickly said.

  Mistress Yee slapped her and shrieked, “Don’t you ever mention the dead woman’s name. It will bring bad luck to my baby.” She released her foot and said, “I am taking your wage for this month since you ruined my silk.”

  Nani cried all the way to the kitchen.

  “What is the matter, Big Sister?” Soonyi asked.

  Nani sat by the stove in the kitchen and cried more. Mirae entered and said, “We need the rice liquor. They are about to start the ceremony.”

  “The hell with their ceremony!” Nani shrieked. She took off her shoes and cotton footwear. The top of her left foot was bluish yellow.

  “What happened to your foot? Big Sister, it’s blue!” Soonyi shouted excitedly.

  “Shut up,” Mirae uttered quietly. “Where is the liquor?” she asked, unperturbed.

  Nani ignored her and tended her foot as if it were a baby.

  “Your foot will get better in a little while, but the liquor is needed right now or else she will turn your other foot blue to match,” Mirae said.

  Soonyi quickly got the jug of rice liquor from the cupboard. Mirae snatched it, poured a bit into a small ceramic cup, and looked at Nani. “Drink it,” she said to Nani, and left the kitchen.

  “Don’t mind her. She is out of her mind,” Soonyi comforted her. “And she shouldn’t pour the liquor before the ceremony.”

  Unexpectedly, Nani took the ceramic cup and drank the liquor all at once. She screwed up her face as the heat of the alcohol rushed down her chest. The heat immediately spread into her shoulders and stomach.

  Never having seen Nani drink, Soonyi whispered, “Big Sister.”

  “Don’t speak to me right now,” Nani said and turned her head toward the wall. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

  15

  Mistress Yee was in her room, scratching her enormous tummy. For some reason, she felt terribly itchy. She hated being pregnant. Things were happening to her body without her consent, it seemed, and this state of affairs often put her in a foul mood. She was waiting for Mirae to arrive. The doctor had informed Mistress Yee that her maid was no longer contagious. In truth, Mistress Yee was glad to have Mirae attend to her because she was the only maid with the ability to anticipate and accommodate her needs. The others were clueless and subservient, and they repeatedly required detailed instructions. When Mistress Yee’s subordinates were stupid, she needed to be wise and careful; this tired and frustrated her.

  “Here I am, Mistress Yee,” Mirae announced.

  “Open the door,” Mistress Yee ordered from inside her room, leaning against the cushion with her legs stretched out. Her dainty feet in her white silk footwear wriggled in boredom.

  “Sit down,” Mistress Yee ordered cheerfully.

  Mirae sat and cast her glance down. Mistress Yee examined her face, amused and surprised. Then she said, “Cheer up, Mirae. It doesn’t look as bad as you might think. You are still the prettiest among all the maids.” She laughed in approval of her own sarcastic phrase.

  Mirae sat silently.

  “You’ve changed,” Mistress Yee suggested. She took a moment to study Mirae’s reaction. “I don’t just mean your appearance. Your attitude too.”

  “I am sorry, Mistress Yee. I don’t mean to be rude to you. And I am here to serve you,” Mirae confessed.

  “I don’t mean your attitude toward me. I am talking about your attitude toward yourself,” Mistress Yee said, grinning maliciously.

  Mirae said nothing.

  “Do my hair, Mirae,” Mistress Yee ordered, turning around to face the folding screen which she had brought as part of her dowry. Embroidered meticulously in colorful silk and gold threads, it depicted the beginning of spring with cherry blossoms, blackbirds, and a girl on a swing by a stream. “You know, Mirae, that is me.” Mistress Yee pointed at the girl on the swing.

  “I know, my lady,” Mirae said.

  “You see what I am saying? In the past, you would have said, ‘Oh, my lady, you must have been the prettiest girl ever lived.’ But now, you say, ‘I see, my lady.’ That is not you, Mirae. You’ve changed. That’s not a good sign,” Mistress Yee said, smiling.

  “I am sorry, my lady,” Mirae said, taking a comb and perfumed oil.

  “No apologies between you and me. You’ve been very good to me.” She laughed. Her pitch-black hair fell on her back. Mirae began to comb it. “Do you know what has changed?” Mistress Yee asked mockingly. “A maid with a pretty face thinks she can marry up. In the end, she becomes a concubine to an aristocrat and has an illegitimate child. As soon as there is another girl with a prettier face, the man leaves her and her child. And that’s the end of her glory. A maid with a homely face, on the other hand, marries a servant in the household, or even better, if she brought a male servant from outside into the household she would be given a place of her own, and she would live as a wife and mother in her own place. That’s the only difference between a pretty maid and a not-so-pretty maid. I had always wondered what might become of you with your pretty face. But now, it’s my opinion that chicken pox might not be a villain after all,” she said, observing Mirae’s reaction as she gazed at the sliver-framed looking glass in her hand.

  Biting her lip, Mirae kept combing her mistress’s hair.

  “Hurry, Mirae. I have to dine with my husband when he is done with the memorial service. I couldn’t attend with my belly this large; it’s impossible to kowtow to the ancestors. That reminds me of something. I need you to deliver a packet to the temple tomorrow. My due date is approaching, and your master wants to make a special offering so that I will have a smooth delivery,” she said, looking intently at herself in the looking glass.

  Still, Mirae said nothing.

  “Look here,” Mistress Yee turned around suddenly, pulling her hair away from Mirae’s hands. “I don’t enjoy chattering alone. I am not your entertainer. Do you understand that?”

  “I do, my lady. I will try my best not to be an annoyance,” Mirae said.

  “You will have to.” Mistress Yee turned around and faced the folding screen again. Now Mirae had to braid her hair all over again because the braid had come loose.

  When her hair was done, Mistress Yee sat up, supporting her belly with her hands, and said, “I can’t wait until this is over. It’s so hard to move about. I feel like I have swallowed a water
melon whole. Anyway, I was thinking that you would be the perfect nanny for the baby.”

  “It would be my pleasure, Mistress,” Mirae replied, gloomily.

  “But when I come to think of it,” Mistress Yee said quickly, “well, I will have to hire someone else. No offense, but it’d be cruel if the first thing my baby had to see was you with your skin condition. Don’t you think?” Mistress Yee said, pouting. She lay back against the cushion with her eyes closed so that Mirae could shape her eyebrows. Mirae clenched her teeth with shame. No tears, she told herself. She took the tweezers and began to pluck Mistress Yee’s eyebrows into the shape of a seagull’s wing.

  “Easy!” Mistress Yee shrilled irritably, her eyes still closed. A teardrop oozed out from under her eyelid.

  “I will be careful, my lady,” Mirae said, holding her breath.

  Mistress Yee was tempted to tell the story of her own mother, who had once been a maid, a very pretty one. Mistress Yee’s father, General Bin Yee, a descendent of a famous general and, later, a member of council in the government office, had two wives already and had an affair with her mother. The first wife died of tuberculosis, and the second one was accused of indecency and removed from the house and lived elsewhere in solitude. Her mother had to face opposition from General Yee’s relatives and friends and the vicious accusations that she had caused the second wife’s misfortune. “Is it true?” Mistress Yee had asked her mother one day. She didn’t answer then. But some days later she said, “I did it for you.” When all that had happened, Mistress Yee wasn’t even born. As a child, Mistress Yee held a grudge against her mother. General Yee wasn’t a loving man. Mistress Yee didn’t get along with him, who played the role of a general even at home. As Mistress Yee grew older, she realized that, as much as she resented her mother, she was, slowly but surely, becoming her mother’s daughter.